放飞蝴蝶11 帮助我们的孩子为自己的利益做出改变通常感觉就像是走动着蜗牛步伐,并且可能就像看着泰坦尼克号,有时候我们的孩子需要先沉没才可以看到我们的进步。本质上,青春期提出了许多发展挑战。再说一次,在今天的背景下’没有开放性的社交媒体,有限的榜样,没有责任的过度个人自由以及政治体制的僵化,我们的青少年似乎比以往任何时候都在挣扎。无论到哪里看,都有无数的文章“bullying”, “drug use”, promiscuity”, “gang violence”以及影响我们孩子的其他社交疾病。但是,昨天,我见证了一个非凡的转变,一个13岁的年轻女子及其家人证明了这一点,并且我知道这个故事中有许多教训可供他人借鉴。

As an education advocate, 凯莉 was a typical 12 year old, and no different than many I meet on the special needs path; transitioning from elementary school to middle school with a number of challenges: ADHD, oppositional defiance, failing classes, and emotional outbursts.  Living within a small agricultural town of less than 5000, there were few resources available to assist with their daughter.  So 凯莉 ’的父母在盒子外面和家人内部寻找干预模型。他们得出的结论是,他们的女儿需要一些不同的东西,这将要求他们作为父母,做他们从未想过的事情:放手!

凯莉 ’s older sister lived far away in one of the largest urban cities in the Midwest.  Not only was she trained as an educator with a Masters in Early Childhood Development, her lifestyle reflected something all together different from the rural farm town setting she came from: She was a yoga instructor, commuted 通过 subway to and from work, ate a vegan diet, worked out daily at a fitness studio,and was a very strong-willed, independent young woman living on her own.  After much deliberation and consideration, the family decided that 凯莉 would best make the transition from elementary school to middle school 通过 moving in with her older sister and living life as a young adult in the big city.

据凯利’s mother, “凯利(Kelly)知道了所有人的情感和经济责任,以使这项工作成为积极的经历”。除了负责每天做早餐和午餐外,她还需要通过公共交通工具独自上学,并且通常在自己的日常生活中承担起自己的个人责任。她妈妈补充说,“凯莉独自一人去休假和度假[飞机],学习了火车,还不得不学习她住的地方周围的环境,这样她才能独立地知道要去哪里。凯利(Kelly)负责组织自己的学校和公寓周围的琐事。她每天放学后都必须向门童办理登机手续,每天早上都要打电话回家,让别人知道她要离开大楼去学校,如果她迟到,学校会通知她的妹妹。”个人问责制与个人自由相伴而生。值得一提的是,她的姐姐确保她的小兄弟姐妹无法访问社交媒体,并且所有互联网活动都受到直接监控,并且在没有监管的情况下永远无法使用。

Of course, there is much more to this story for I am not doing this justice due to the extraordinary details which have been left out, however, I believe we can all learn from this parenting model 照原样: Sometimes we need to trust ourselves, our intuitive guidance, and have faith 通过 letting go.  Also, there are lifestyle changes within our own lives which need to be employed before we can expect to see changes in our children such as diet, exercise, and media use.

因此,当我们昨天开会参加评估会议,确定是否有资格接受特殊设计的指导和IEP(个人教育计划)时;我确定我们会继续进行过去的工作并继续提供服务“as is”。好吧,我曾经惊讶过!显然,这次对话强调了与一年前以前讨论过的Kelly版本截然不同的版本。因为她的老师详细介绍了“她上课时的出色交往”, “每天都表现出很棒的态度”, and “具有出色的组织能力;为他人树立的榜样”。此外,当凯利被要求参加合作学习活动时,她的老师说,如果有机会自己选择小组,她会寻找一些最有能力的学生。此外,她在阅读和数学方面的整体技能有了很大提高,以至于她没有资格获得这些核心技能领域中专门设计的指导。看来,数学,写作和口语的辅导对凯利产生了重大影响’一年中的技能学习。我们都非常高兴听到教室的报告以及审查评估。会议结束后,她的母亲给我写信说:“很高兴听到她实际上将自己的经历放到曾经消耗过她的幸福的旧环境中,并且她为此变得更加坚强。我真的很幸运,她有一个足够强大的姐姐,真是太神奇了,可以让她的生活停滞不前,并通过这次经历帮助她的妹妹在情感,文化和教育上成长!”

Absolutely, very few are able to access the resources which 凯莉 ’s family tapped into including an older sibling with such extraordinary compassion, determination and skill sets.   However, we all have the ability to take major strides in support of our kids and sometimes, the most impressive, are the steps which cause lifestyle changes,   In the case of 凯莉 ’s parents, they had to truly let their daughter go, and trust their intuition.  As a result, it worked.  And 凯莉 is someone so much closer to her potential and promise than being another member of the “troubled youth” crowd.

注意事项:

你怎么“let go”为了孩子,你能放弃什么’的成长与发展?

您已经以什么方式为孩子们开箱即用’的最大利益却没有发挥作用?

May 凯莉 ’的故事激发您走向非凡的事物。对于许多生活的答案’内心的挣扎。

最良好的祝愿

拉里@ specialeducationadvocacy.org